Victory Road IC Contact Post

[ghoststanning]

"Sorry I'm not here right now, but if you leave a message I'll get back to you as soon as I can!"

Comments

[pkemeter]

Hmm. That is odd. Perhaps--

[But his line of thought is interrupted when he's nudged by Ray. Egon practically presses his face against the screen, staring intensely at the egg.]

Quick, Venkman--write down whatever observations you can gather about the hatching process. Any differences between a domestic cat and this cat, any sort of unusual noise or feedback. Garfield may be crucial to understanding the reproductive biology of these creatures.

[All of this is said in a completely serious tone.]

[neverstudied]

Oh, I'll give you feedback, Spengs- the name sucks and you should feel bad.

[The Fletchling lands on top of the Wimpod, who is still running around in excitement. It chirps merrily as it rides the isopod around.

A large crack appears, and a tiny paw sticks out and flexes its claws. Then- huh. A bright light envelopes the egg, and the camera jerks back as Venkman stumbles.]

Whoa, hold on, why's the baby exploding-

[The light fades. Where the egg once was, there's now only scattered eggshells, and one tiny Litten curled into a ball.]

[ghoststanning]

Do all eggs explode here?!

[Ray sounds way too excited about that.

Then he sees the kitty and nearly starts crying right there.]

Welcome to the world, Garfield! Pete will take great care of you!

[pkemeter]

[Egon flinches back at the light, then stares at the screen with a renewed vigor.]

Incredible. The light seems to indicate there was an extreme output of energy or...something to do with energy. Perhaps the cat itself was transformed instantaneously upon hatching. I'll have to observe if Ray and I's eggs hatch in a similar manner.

...

See if the cat responds to the appropriate stimuli. Perform an Apgar test.

[Which is usually used for humans but now he's nervous about the baby]

[neverstudied]

Please stop calling it Garfield. I'm begging you.

[Venkman sets the Pokegear down a few feet away, so both he and the Litten are in view. He picks up the Litten by the scruff, who mewls curiously.]

Um... God, I don't even remember most of the steps for that with a regular baby. Appearance is normal, I guess? I've never seen one of these before. It's, uh, fully-furred and fur condition looks good, eyes are still closed-

[Right on cue, the Litten opens its eyes, and looks up at Venkman. It mewls again, batting a paw up at his face. Venkman tries to hide the dumb grin on his face.]

Never mind. Eyes are open, and overall precocial compared to, uh, a normal cat. So that means these things develop a lot in the egg.

[He holds two fingers to the pulse point under the chin- the facial artery.]

Pulse is, uhhh... Feels fine to me? I've never really done work with cats before, Egon, you know this! Oh, whatever. Resp rate seems fine, too, breathing regularly and it's crying without problem. I don't exactly have a stethoscope to listen properly, but-

[He holds the Litten up to his ear, shoving his face into the chest. It meows in protest and digs its kitten claws into his face. Venkman frowns at it.]

Purring a lot, hard to really hear, but heartbeat sounds normal, no abnormalities I can recognize. It's not gasping for breath or anything. And activity is fine, it's definitely moving around a lot. Clawing me to death. Oh, and I don't really see a cord, but obviously there should've been one attached to the inside of the egg, right?

What's left? What's the G stand for? Uh, uhhhhh- grimace! Right.

[He pinches one of the Litten's toe beans. It squeaks in protest and yanks its foot back, glaring at Venkman. It then coughs up a small fireball in his face.]

JESUS-

[Venkman jerks back, luckily not losing his grip on the kitten as he stumbles and falls on the floor. The fireball dissipates after a few seconds, only singing the ends of his hair and the tip of his nose, but Venkman looks bemused.]

... So that's a good reflex response, huh?

[ghoststanning]

[Ray is so freaking happy as he sees the little guy spit out fire.]

Pete I love him! I hate how I can’t see him in person and cuddle him because he’s so precious.

[He just spat out a fireball at Venkman.]

[pkemeter]

A perfectly healthy specimen, as far as we're aware.

[A pause. Then, in a slightly amused tone--]

I'm surprised you got so far without me having to prompt you. I look forward to meeting Garfield myself and running my own tests on him. Having a fire Pokémon like that would be invaluable towards surviving the winter.

Being born completely precocial seems particularly beneficial to the survival of these creatures in the hands of trainers who may not have the equipment to raise a young animal. This supports my theory that Pokémon have evolved to expect intervention from trainers and other human beings in this realm.

[Faraday swoops over to the screen, tilting her head and peeking curiously at the newly born kitten. She makes a questioning chirrup, blinking.]

[neverstudied]

[Venkman rubs at his face, still half sitting up on the floor. He let go of the Litten's scruff when Ray started talking, and the cat is now curled up on his lap, looking around curiously. The Wimpod crawls up onto Venkman's lap, and the Fletchling perches on his knee; they both seem excited about the new baby.]

Thanks, guys. I'm glad you both care about me so much and immediately checked if I was ok after getting fire in my face. You're real gems. You know, the bird here can spit fire, too. Burned my hand pretty badly when I caught it. I'm reallyyyy hoping this doesn't turn into an everyday thing.

And yeah, yeah, I paid some attention in college, Spengs. I didn't get these PhDs just from copying your notes and homework.

But it helped.

... And stop calling him Garfield.

[The Litten perks up at the name and bats at Venkman's face. He grimaces.]

No. No! No, that is not your name. No. Bad kitten. Uh, Litten. Whatever.

[ghoststanning]

Aww, cmon, Pete! We get set on fire all the time! But I promise I was concerned!

[Oh.

That kitty tho.]

Hey!

Hey Garfield, come here!

[pkemeter]

Venkman, I have been bitten by a venomous bat several times yesterday. Your hair will grow back. My hand may not.

[he doesn't...seem...particularly concerned about that]

However, if the burning does seem to be a problem, I would suggest looking into flame-retardant clothing. Avoid asbestos, if it exists in this universe. [A pause.] Hm. Unless asbestos is not a carcinogen in this universe, and in that case it may be safe to use.

[He's going to find asbestos in this universe and see if it gives him mesothelioma.]

Ray, you do realize he won't be able to actually come to you?

[neverstudied]

Hey! I just said my hand was burned too, you know.

... Please don't lose your hand. I like your hands.

[The Litten hops off of Venkman's lap, mewling excitedly with its tiny tail in their air. It runs over to the Pokegear and shoves its face into the camera, trying to figure out where the voice is coming from. It then just starts pushing the Pokegear around and batting at it curiously. This will intensify the more Ray encourages it.

Please encourage it.]

Hey- knock it off!

[ghoststanning]

Shhh I'm going somewhere with this-

[Aaaaaaaa kitty responded! Ray leans in closer to his Pokégear to get a good look at the boy.]

Hello Garfield! It's nice to meet you!

[pkemeter]

[A pause.]

I will do my best not to lose my hand.

[As much as he fully intends to actually tend to it, he'll probably end up putting one potion on it and then forget about it entirely.

Anyways, he casts a curious glance towards Ray, raising an eyebrow. But he'll keep his comments to himself for now.]

[neverstudied]

[Another kitten mewl, right into to speakers! The Litten bats at the Pokegear and topples it over onto its side.]

Ray! Stop it, you're brainwashing the baby!

[Venkman runs over and scoops up the Litten, but the damage is already done. This Litten will now and forever only respond to the name Garfield. God help us.

Venkman picks up the Pokegear and glares into the camera.]

Fuck you guys.

[The Litten squirms in his arms. It wants to check out the weird voice in the machine again.]

[ghoststanning]

[Peter this is exactly what happens when you let two drunk guys name your pet.

Ray starts giggling again and he struggles to speak.]

I'm sorry Venkie, I saw him respond to that name and I wanted to see if that name really imprinted on it, I'm sorry!

And I think it's a really cute name for him! It suits him with his droopy eyes and grumpy face!

[pkemeter]

[The corners of Egon's mouth twitch up into a smile as he leans back a little.]

Ray agrees with me.

[That's probably the most smug you'll ever get him to be. He takes a gulp of beer.]

If anything, name him after Eugene Garfield. He contributed significantly to the furthering of scientific knowledge by creating the Science Citation Index. And he graduated from Columbia.

[neverstudied]

Great. So I can either name him after the lasagna cat because you think I sound like him, or after one of our more successful alumni who probably endorsed us getting kicked out.

Thanks, Spengs.

... Does this make me Jon Arbuckle now.

[ghoststanning]

[Without hesitation-]

Yes!

[pkemeter]

[In a completely flat tone--]

Yes.

[neverstudied]

Die.

[ghoststanning]

[:C]

But it’s New Years, Venkie!

[pkemeter]

Peter, you of all people should know that death will do nothing to stop us.

[That's...incredibly ominous!!]

[neverstudied]

Cool. You can go into the New Year as ghosts and continue to haunt me by giving my pets terrible names.

You wanna go the whole nine yards? My bird still doesn't have a name. You wanna ruin its life, too?

[ghoststanning]

I will haunt you by hugging you all day, Pete! I will never let you go!!!

[And then]

Name them Woody Woodpecker!

[pkemeter]

Your bird?

[Egon adjusts his glasses, clearing his throat.]

If I may, I have several suggestions for names, mostly of notable ornithologists. For example, John James Audubon, Charles Darwin, James Bond...the possibilities stretch on.