Victory Road IC Contact Post

[ghoststanning]

"Sorry I'm not here right now, but if you leave a message I'll get back to you as soon as I can!"

Comments

[ghoststanning]

[Ray is so freaking happy as he sees the little guy spit out fire.]

Pete I love him! I hate how I can’t see him in person and cuddle him because he’s so precious.

[He just spat out a fireball at Venkman.]

[pkemeter]

A perfectly healthy specimen, as far as we're aware.

[A pause. Then, in a slightly amused tone--]

I'm surprised you got so far without me having to prompt you. I look forward to meeting Garfield myself and running my own tests on him. Having a fire Pokémon like that would be invaluable towards surviving the winter.

Being born completely precocial seems particularly beneficial to the survival of these creatures in the hands of trainers who may not have the equipment to raise a young animal. This supports my theory that Pokémon have evolved to expect intervention from trainers and other human beings in this realm.

[Faraday swoops over to the screen, tilting her head and peeking curiously at the newly born kitten. She makes a questioning chirrup, blinking.]

[neverstudied]

[Venkman rubs at his face, still half sitting up on the floor. He let go of the Litten's scruff when Ray started talking, and the cat is now curled up on his lap, looking around curiously. The Wimpod crawls up onto Venkman's lap, and the Fletchling perches on his knee; they both seem excited about the new baby.]

Thanks, guys. I'm glad you both care about me so much and immediately checked if I was ok after getting fire in my face. You're real gems. You know, the bird here can spit fire, too. Burned my hand pretty badly when I caught it. I'm reallyyyy hoping this doesn't turn into an everyday thing.

And yeah, yeah, I paid some attention in college, Spengs. I didn't get these PhDs just from copying your notes and homework.

But it helped.

... And stop calling him Garfield.

[The Litten perks up at the name and bats at Venkman's face. He grimaces.]

No. No! No, that is not your name. No. Bad kitten. Uh, Litten. Whatever.

[ghoststanning]

Aww, cmon, Pete! We get set on fire all the time! But I promise I was concerned!

[Oh.

That kitty tho.]

Hey!

Hey Garfield, come here!

[pkemeter]

Venkman, I have been bitten by a venomous bat several times yesterday. Your hair will grow back. My hand may not.

[he doesn't...seem...particularly concerned about that]

However, if the burning does seem to be a problem, I would suggest looking into flame-retardant clothing. Avoid asbestos, if it exists in this universe. [A pause.] Hm. Unless asbestos is not a carcinogen in this universe, and in that case it may be safe to use.

[He's going to find asbestos in this universe and see if it gives him mesothelioma.]

Ray, you do realize he won't be able to actually come to you?

[neverstudied]

Hey! I just said my hand was burned too, you know.

... Please don't lose your hand. I like your hands.

[The Litten hops off of Venkman's lap, mewling excitedly with its tiny tail in their air. It runs over to the Pokegear and shoves its face into the camera, trying to figure out where the voice is coming from. It then just starts pushing the Pokegear around and batting at it curiously. This will intensify the more Ray encourages it.

Please encourage it.]

Hey- knock it off!

[ghoststanning]

Shhh I'm going somewhere with this-

[Aaaaaaaa kitty responded! Ray leans in closer to his Pokégear to get a good look at the boy.]

Hello Garfield! It's nice to meet you!

[pkemeter]

[A pause.]

I will do my best not to lose my hand.

[As much as he fully intends to actually tend to it, he'll probably end up putting one potion on it and then forget about it entirely.

Anyways, he casts a curious glance towards Ray, raising an eyebrow. But he'll keep his comments to himself for now.]

[neverstudied]

[Another kitten mewl, right into to speakers! The Litten bats at the Pokegear and topples it over onto its side.]

Ray! Stop it, you're brainwashing the baby!

[Venkman runs over and scoops up the Litten, but the damage is already done. This Litten will now and forever only respond to the name Garfield. God help us.

Venkman picks up the Pokegear and glares into the camera.]

Fuck you guys.

[The Litten squirms in his arms. It wants to check out the weird voice in the machine again.]

[ghoststanning]

[Peter this is exactly what happens when you let two drunk guys name your pet.

Ray starts giggling again and he struggles to speak.]

I'm sorry Venkie, I saw him respond to that name and I wanted to see if that name really imprinted on it, I'm sorry!

And I think it's a really cute name for him! It suits him with his droopy eyes and grumpy face!

[pkemeter]

[The corners of Egon's mouth twitch up into a smile as he leans back a little.]

Ray agrees with me.

[That's probably the most smug you'll ever get him to be. He takes a gulp of beer.]

If anything, name him after Eugene Garfield. He contributed significantly to the furthering of scientific knowledge by creating the Science Citation Index. And he graduated from Columbia.

[neverstudied]

Great. So I can either name him after the lasagna cat because you think I sound like him, or after one of our more successful alumni who probably endorsed us getting kicked out.

Thanks, Spengs.

... Does this make me Jon Arbuckle now.

[ghoststanning]

[Without hesitation-]

Yes!

[pkemeter]

[In a completely flat tone--]

Yes.

[neverstudied]

Die.

[ghoststanning]

[:C]

But it’s New Years, Venkie!

[pkemeter]

Peter, you of all people should know that death will do nothing to stop us.

[That's...incredibly ominous!!]

[neverstudied]

Cool. You can go into the New Year as ghosts and continue to haunt me by giving my pets terrible names.

You wanna go the whole nine yards? My bird still doesn't have a name. You wanna ruin its life, too?

[ghoststanning]

I will haunt you by hugging you all day, Pete! I will never let you go!!!

[And then]

Name them Woody Woodpecker!

[pkemeter]

Your bird?

[Egon adjusts his glasses, clearing his throat.]

If I may, I have several suggestions for names, mostly of notable ornithologists. For example, John James Audubon, Charles Darwin, James Bond...the possibilities stretch on.

[neverstudied]

Yeah, that thing.

[Venkman nods his head at the Fletchling behind him, which chirps a greeting. Garfield wriggles in his arms again and clambers up on Venkman's shoulders to get a better look at the bird, meowing at its fellow [future] fire-type.]

... Alright, I'll bite. How the hell is James Bond a famous ornithologist?

[pkemeter]

[Egon blinks. Apparently, he forgot that James Bond is also a fictional character.]

James Bond is an expert in Caribbean-dwelling birds and wrote a definitive book on the subject, Birds of the West Indies. He is arguably the most famous ornithologist of our generation.

[A pause.] Ah, and Ian Flemming re-purposed his name as the titular character of his spy novels.

[ghoststanning]

[Ray nods in agreement.]

I think James Bond would be a great name, Pete! Just imagine that little guy in a little tuxedo! It would be adorable!

[neverstudied]

Ughhhhhh. Fine. At least it's better than Garfield.

[He's also a little disappointed that out of these two dumb names, the one Egon had to associate with him was Garfield, not Bond. Come on. He's suave, right? He could be James Bond, right???

not right

The newly-christened Bond flutters over and lands on Venkman's head, staring down at the baby Garfield. Garfield bats at her with claws sheathed, which she dodges with an offended chirrup.]

[pkemeter]

[Hmmm.]

Perhaps it would be better for the cat and the bird to be separated. We don't know what kind of inter-species diseases may be transferred between them. [A pause.] Unless that isn't a concern in this universe because of the fact that radically biologically different creatures can breed safely, which means that....

[He trails off, muttering to himself. Egon's Zubat, having dozed off in the middle of drinking his can of sparkling grape juice, wakes up upon hearing the chirp and burps. It then flies blindly towards the source of the noise and smacks right into Ray's head. Faraday lets out a loud, startled shriek. Egon winces, but barely looks towards the Pokémon.]

Will you be quiet? I'm trying to think.