[Egon shoves his face in next to Ray. This is probably the most excited Venkman's ever seen him, besides that one time he found a rare and endangered fungus growing in his own mushroom farm.]
Even better. Kölliker has said her first words--"I'm baby".
[He tugs his hand a little closer to the camera so Venkman can see the Solosis nibbling on his hand right now. She burbles and looks at the screen with curiosity, and although Peter can't hear her, Ray and Egon definitely can.]
[Just. Blinks. Stares at Egon. Stares at Ray. Stares at The Baby.
The grin tugging at his mouth gets wider, and he snorts with laughter, half-covering his face with his hand.]
God, you're both turning into cutesy domestic parent types. I love it- I knew Ray had it in him, but you, Egon- this is too good! Hold on-
[Venkman ducks into a nearby alleyway, further out of view or earshot of passerby. Old habits die hard, and even if there's no paparazzi who'd care about their relationships, Venkman feels a little more secure without the chance of people listening in on him chiding his partners for being sappy.]
Ok. So she's learned how to say "I'm baby." She's missing the "a", but that's still pretty good for a giant cell! What prompted it?
Nah, just dealing with my own little bastard Pokemon.
Still, that's... kind of amazing. Her first words, and she was answering a question, not just parroting what you had to say. That means she had to contextualize the question "who is a baby", know that it was directed to her, know that she's a "baby", and was able to refer to herself in the first person, all in one go.
[He taps at his chin, thinking.]
Sure, some of that could be explained by her communicating psychically, but it's still pretty intense for the first words for something not even 2-weeks old. That's some major psychological development.
[Sometimes Venkman knows what the fuck he's talking about. Not often, but sometimes.]
It is quite impressive, isn't it? I've been bringing her with me to the Pokémon Center every other day in the hopes that she could be exposed to other people's thinking patterns as well as Ray and I's. I, for one, would consider us to be successful if she continues to develops in a healthy manner and gains more knowledge every day.
[Growing bored, Kölliker removes herself from Egon's hand and goes to nudge herself against Ray's shoulder, extending a feeling of curiosity and content towards him. Egon adjusts his glasses, looking over at her. He would be beaming right now, if not for the restrictions of his face.
Still, there's the matter of what Venkman said earlier....]
Bond giving you trouble again? You should consider training her more to strengthen your bond with her. [Bond's bond.]
Hey, I've been training Bond just fine- really, I have to stop her from fighting stuff more often than not. But nah, she's not the real problem.
[Venkman runs a hand through his hair, sighing.]
So, it turns out this city has a problem with Pokemon vandals- literally, Pokemon who are vandals. There's a whole gang of them. There's a cash reward offered for anyone who catches one and trains it themselves, taking it off the city's hands- so obviously, I tried doing that.
I caught one, alright. Problem is, I have no idea where she went. And she trashed my hotel room before she disappeared, and I didn't get the reward money first, so not only do I need her to get paid, but I'll need to use pretty much all that cash to pay for the damages!
... So, yeah. I've been looking around for her everywhere- or at least one of her other gang members to catch. So that's how my day is going.
[His partners get to play with a psychic baby and Venkman hunts down a delinquent turtle]
[The corner of Egon's mouth twitches upwards as he pats Kölliker on the head. A single tear rolls down his face. These babies are making him feel a lot more in the past few weeks than he has over the past thirty-something years of his life.]
It is interesting how Pokémon are able to communicate with each other so effectively to the point where they can organize and systematically vandalize property. This points to a high level of intelligence present in most, if not all of these Pokémon. Perhaps if you treat them as you would, say, another human being, you would be more effective in thinking like them and catching them.
[Just a really small, turtle-shaped human being.]
Do the Pokémon seem to have a specific target in mind, or do they merely do this for their own amusement?
Seems mostly like an amusement thing. They do trash the police station a lot, though. Also, the one I caught spray-painted "ACAB" everywhere. So they've got a big "fuck the police" attitude goin' on, which I respect. But not when it means I don't get paid.
Yeah, Ray. Maybe I'll do that after I find the bastard.
... Oh my God. Spengs, you're crying? I wasn't even sure you could.
[Sounds kind of like she's asking if she's their baby. Egon pauses for a moment, wiping the tear from his face.]
Perhaps if you express this attitude more openly, they will be drawn to you, and it will be easier to capture them. [A pause.] Also, contrary to popular belief, I am perfectly capable of expressing my emotions.
[Said in a monotonous voice.]
Ray, perhaps it was your enthusiasm that led to her being eager to communicate with you in a way you would comprehend. In a few weeks, using Kölliker as a translator, we may even be able to communicate with our other Pokémon.
[This must sound really weird from Venkman's perspective.
Oh, I hadn't thought of that! Wow, that'd be great! We wouldn't just have to rely on second-hand information about Pokemon here if Ko translated for us!
Is she still talking to you guys? I can't hear it.
[And odd, lopsided smile appears on Venkman's face- something genuine and warm, both things that aren't particularly common for him. He looks down the alleyway again- old habits really do die hard- and speaks up, his voice noticeably softer.]
I know, Egie. I wouldn't've been in love with you since undergrad if I didn't know that.
She is. I assume that telepathic communication cannot be transmitted digitally.
[Egon opens his mouth to reply to Ray when Peter says that. He pauses, staring at the screen. Kölliker reaches out a figurative hand in concern. She doesn't yet have the words to ask about her dad yet, but she's taking in the fact that this loud baby box is making glasses funny dad feel the same way whenever he talks to happy good dad at night.
There's a lot he can say right now, but he feels it would sound ingenuine. He settles on the nostalgia factor to try and convey his fondness.]
You know, I wonder where all of us would be if we hadn't met each other during college. [He glances towards Ray.] Or if we'd never expressed any romantic attraction to each other.
[Ray wraps his arms around Kölliker, not unlike a stuffed animal.]
God, I don't even want to think about that. You know that I didn't have a whole lot of friends in college before I met you guy. There weren't enough people out there who'd be willing to put up with my love of the supernatural and monsters like you guys do.
[He frowns thoughtfully, before he smirks.]
I'm sure if we never clicked I would have done something really boring like become a used cars salesman or something like that!
If I'd never met you guys, I'd probably be in prison. Or working with my dad at whatever con job he feels like pushing, now that he's outta the carny business. Not sure which is worse.
You know you guys were half of what got me through my doctorates. And not, uh, not just because I borrowed your notes, Spengs.
[Kö is a squishy baby and fits right in Ray's arms. She burbles a little bit--happy good dad is not happy? Glasses funny dad is also sad but glad? Baby is confused by the range of emotions in this room.]
I'd probably have been forced to take on more "serious" work--pressured to abandon my interest in parapsychology to pursue "real" subjects such as mechanical engineering or physics. And with no one else to confirm or deny my theories....
[He shakes his head. He's not stupid--he knows that the things he does or says tends to put off other people.]
Either way, I am glad to have avoided that path in my life. And I am also glad to be able to come to this dimension with you two, and to be fortunate enough that you two had also met your version of Egon. The sheer slim probability of this is incredible, and should be celebrated.
[Ray leans against Egon, resting his head on his shoulder.]
It really is nice, and even if fate doesn't exist, the fact that we were able to meet each other and better all our lives for it, in multiple dimensions, no less, makes me feel happy.
I love you too. And I can't wait to hear your weird baby talk when I catch back up with you both. And get to see you in person, Spengs.
[Venkman's gotten pretty used to the whole "this is an alternate reality version of my boyfriend" thing, but video messages aren't the same as seeing him face to face.
He seems to be about to say something else, but a crash from deeper in the alleyway interrupts him. For a moment, Venkman panics, turning behind him to face whatever it is and briefly covering the Pokegear screen with his hand. Then-]
... Oh. Oh!
[Venkman picks up the camera and turns it to face the Squirtle peeking out from behind a toppled over garbage can. It's... it's wearing sunglasses? And holding a can of spray paint??]
Someone was eavesdropping, huh?
[Quietly, as an aside for Ray and Egon's benefit:]
That's the one I caught. The one who ran off on me.
I know. And I love you, as well. I look forward to seeing you finally.
[A pause. He's about to ask Venkman if he had been able to get the deer to the PokéCenter when the sudden crash makes him stop. Concern mars his mind, and Kölliker beeps in response, but the moment passes. She peers at the screen, trying to wiggle out of Ray's arms.]
[Ray knows he needs to be a good role model, but he bursts out laughing when he hears that, both out of shock and both because that's weirdly precious.]
Ko that's a bad word, you're not allowed to say that!
[Venkman's busy looking at his Squirtle, trying to figure out what to do here. He wants to be mad. He should be mad! He spent all day trying to track this thing down, and she just goes and finds him herself. Hell, maybe she's been following him all day, laughing at him as he ran all over the place. ... Watching him talk with his partners and laugh about the Ko's first words.
Ray's laugh momentarily breaks his train of thought, though, and he turns the camera back to himself to glance at Ko.]
... What did the baby say?
[And then, of course, seeing Ray just reminds him of Ray and Egon's advice before. Ugh.
Still. Maybe they have some sort of point.
Venkman crouches down on the ground, keeping eye contact with the Squirtle. He sets the Pokegear aside, facing towards the Squirtle and not himself. He runs a hand through his hair.]
Hey. I dunno how long you were watching me, but I'm not- I'm not upset with you. Um. Look. I caught you for a reason, but if you'd rather stick around here, I'm not gonna stop you. Obviously you've got some sorta thing going here, I'm not gonna force you to leave your friends or whatever.
All I really need is to show you to the police station so I can collect the reward, and then you can go free again if you want. I'm not gonna, like, turn you in. Can we- can we make a deal, there? I get the reward, you do whatever you want to do afterwards, and I don't ever have to bother you again if you don't want.
[The Squirtle tilts her head slightly, considering the offer.]
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Even better. Kölliker has said her first words--"I'm baby".
[He tugs his hand a little closer to the camera so Venkman can see the Solosis nibbling on his hand right now. She burbles and looks at the screen with curiosity, and although Peter can't hear her, Ray and Egon definitely can.]
loud baby?
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The grin tugging at his mouth gets wider, and he snorts with laughter, half-covering his face with his hand.]
God, you're both turning into cutesy domestic parent types. I love it- I knew Ray had it in him, but you, Egon- this is too good! Hold on-
[Venkman ducks into a nearby alleyway, further out of view or earshot of passerby. Old habits die hard, and even if there's no paparazzi who'd care about their relationships, Venkman feels a little more secure without the chance of people listening in on him chiding his partners for being sappy.]
Ok. So she's learned how to say "I'm baby." She's missing the "a", but that's still pretty good for a giant cell! What prompted it?
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[That's really concerning Venkman??
But oh well baby talk!]
I was just playing with her! I guess she got really excited when I ask her "who's a baby" after all this time and finally responded!
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Nah, just dealing with my own little bastard Pokemon.
Still, that's... kind of amazing. Her first words, and she was answering a question, not just parroting what you had to say. That means she had to contextualize the question "who is a baby", know that it was directed to her, know that she's a "baby", and was able to refer to herself in the first person, all in one go.
[He taps at his chin, thinking.]
Sure, some of that could be explained by her communicating psychically, but it's still pretty intense for the first words for something not even 2-weeks old. That's some major psychological development.
[Sometimes Venkman knows what the fuck he's talking about. Not often, but sometimes.]
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[Growing bored, Kölliker removes herself from Egon's hand and goes to nudge herself against Ray's shoulder, extending a feeling of curiosity and content towards him. Egon adjusts his glasses, looking over at her. He would be beaming right now, if not for the restrictions of his face.
Still, there's the matter of what Venkman said earlier....]
Bond giving you trouble again? You should consider training her more to strengthen your bond with her. [Bond's bond.]
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[Ray happily moves to cuddle Kölliker, nuzzling against her cytoplasm a little.]
Maybe you should try being nicer to your Pokemon, Venkie!
[He's just... assuming that's the problem because he knows he's a dick to Slimer.]
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[Venkman runs a hand through his hair, sighing.]
So, it turns out this city has a problem with Pokemon vandals- literally, Pokemon who are vandals. There's a whole gang of them. There's a cash reward offered for anyone who catches one and trains it themselves, taking it off the city's hands- so obviously, I tried doing that.
I caught one, alright. Problem is, I have no idea where she went. And she trashed my hotel room before she disappeared, and I didn't get the reward money first, so not only do I need her to get paid, but I'll need to use pretty much all that cash to pay for the damages!
... So, yeah. I've been looking around for her everywhere- or at least one of her other gang members to catch. So that's how my day is going.
[His partners get to play with a psychic baby and Venkman hunts down a delinquent turtle]
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[The corner of Egon's mouth twitches upwards as he pats Kölliker on the head. A single tear rolls down his face. These babies are making him feel a lot more in the past few weeks than he has over the past thirty-something years of his life.]
It is interesting how Pokémon are able to communicate with each other so effectively to the point where they can organize and systematically vandalize property. This points to a high level of intelligence present in most, if not all of these Pokémon. Perhaps if you treat them as you would, say, another human being, you would be more effective in thinking like them and catching them.
[Just a really small, turtle-shaped human being.]
Do the Pokémon seem to have a specific target in mind, or do they merely do this for their own amusement?
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[Gosh he's gonna start crying again he loves their children so much.]
Isn't that right, Ko? You're our baby!
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Yeah, Ray. Maybe I'll do that after I find the bastard.
... Oh my God. Spengs, you're crying? I wasn't even sure you could.
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[Sounds kind of like she's asking if she's their baby. Egon pauses for a moment, wiping the tear from his face.]
Perhaps if you express this attitude more openly, they will be drawn to you, and it will be easier to capture them. [A pause.] Also, contrary to popular belief, I am perfectly capable of expressing my emotions.
[Said in a monotonous voice.]
Ray, perhaps it was your enthusiasm that led to her being eager to communicate with you in a way you would comprehend. In a few weeks, using Kölliker as a translator, we may even be able to communicate with our other Pokémon.
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[This must sound really weird from Venkman's perspective.
Oh, I hadn't thought of that! Wow, that'd be great! We wouldn't just have to rely on second-hand information about Pokemon here if Ko translated for us!
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[And odd, lopsided smile appears on Venkman's face- something genuine and warm, both things that aren't particularly common for him. He looks down the alleyway again- old habits really do die hard- and speaks up, his voice noticeably softer.]
I know, Egie. I wouldn't've been in love with you since undergrad if I didn't know that.
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[Egon opens his mouth to reply to Ray when Peter says that. He pauses, staring at the screen. Kölliker reaches out a figurative hand in concern. She doesn't yet have the words to ask about her dad yet, but she's taking in the fact that this loud baby box is making glasses funny dad feel the same way whenever he talks to happy good dad at night.
There's a lot he can say right now, but he feels it would sound ingenuine. He settles on the nostalgia factor to try and convey his fondness.]
You know, I wonder where all of us would be if we hadn't met each other during college. [He glances towards Ray.] Or if we'd never expressed any romantic attraction to each other.
[Kölliker watches with intense curiosity.]
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God, I don't even want to think about that. You know that I didn't have a whole lot of friends in college before I met you guy. There weren't enough people out there who'd be willing to put up with my love of the supernatural and monsters like you guys do.
[He frowns thoughtfully, before he smirks.]
I'm sure if we never clicked I would have done something really boring like become a used cars salesman or something like that!
[Haha...]
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If I'd never met you guys, I'd probably be in prison. Or working with my dad at whatever con job he feels like pushing, now that he's outta the carny business. Not sure which is worse.
You know you guys were half of what got me through my doctorates. And not, uh, not just because I borrowed your notes, Spengs.
["borrowed"]
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I'd probably have been forced to take on more "serious" work--pressured to abandon my interest in parapsychology to pursue "real" subjects such as mechanical engineering or physics. And with no one else to confirm or deny my theories....
[He shakes his head. He's not stupid--he knows that the things he does or says tends to put off other people.]
Either way, I am glad to have avoided that path in my life. And I am also glad to be able to come to this dimension with you two, and to be fortunate enough that you two had also met your version of Egon. The sheer slim probability of this is incredible, and should be celebrated.
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It really is nice, and even if fate doesn't exist, the fact that we were able to meet each other and better all our lives for it, in multiple dimensions, no less, makes me feel happy.
I really love you guys, I hope you know that.
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[As if he didn't have a hand in this.]
I love you too. And I can't wait to hear your weird baby talk when I catch back up with you both. And get to see you in person, Spengs.
[Venkman's gotten pretty used to the whole "this is an alternate reality version of my boyfriend" thing, but video messages aren't the same as seeing him face to face.
He seems to be about to say something else, but a crash from deeper in the alleyway interrupts him. For a moment, Venkman panics, turning behind him to face whatever it is and briefly covering the Pokegear screen with his hand. Then-]
... Oh. Oh!
[Venkman picks up the camera and turns it to face the Squirtle peeking out from behind a toppled over garbage can. It's... it's wearing sunglasses? And holding a can of spray paint??]
Someone was eavesdropping, huh?
[Quietly, as an aside for Ray and Egon's benefit:]
That's the one I caught. The one who ran off on me.
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[A pause. He's about to ask Venkman if he had been able to get the deer to the PokéCenter when the sudden crash makes him stop. Concern mars his mind, and Kölliker beeps in response, but the moment passes. She peers at the screen, trying to wiggle out of Ray's arms.]
bastard?
Oh.
[He glances over at Kölliker.]
Don't say that.
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Ko that's a bad word, you're not allowed to say that!
[He says, through giggles.]
Oh, hey Pete's new Pokemon!
[c: he's happy to meet you.]
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Ray's laugh momentarily breaks his train of thought, though, and he turns the camera back to himself to glance at Ko.]
... What did the baby say?
[And then, of course, seeing Ray just reminds him of Ray and Egon's advice before. Ugh.
Still. Maybe they have some sort of point.
Venkman crouches down on the ground, keeping eye contact with the Squirtle. He sets the Pokegear aside, facing towards the Squirtle and not himself. He runs a hand through his hair.]
Hey. I dunno how long you were watching me, but I'm not- I'm not upset with you. Um. Look. I caught you for a reason, but if you'd rather stick around here, I'm not gonna stop you. Obviously you've got some sorta thing going here, I'm not gonna force you to leave your friends or whatever.
All I really need is to show you to the police station so I can collect the reward, and then you can go free again if you want. I'm not gonna, like, turn you in. Can we- can we make a deal, there? I get the reward, you do whatever you want to do afterwards, and I don't ever have to bother you again if you don't want.
[The Squirtle tilts her head slightly, considering the offer.]
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She said "bastard", which is a bad word, and makes me sad when you say it. Babies seem rude when they say it.
[That last part is directed towards Kö, of course. She lets out a burble-beep, then glances towards Ray for confirmation.]
If it seems to be going poorly, offer some other non-material goods. For example, perhaps information on how to make more effective sunglasses.
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He's right, it's very rude for babies to say words like that.
[He still loves you though.
But oh, he should probably help Venkman with his Pokemon problem, he calls through the Pokegear in hopes that the Squirtle hears him.]
Hey, buddy, Venkman is a good guy! Not good in the sense that he works for cops, but he's really nice once you get to know him!
[Oh right, she's a delinquent.]
He cheated most of his way through college too if that helps!
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[Venkman winces when Ray calls out, then rolls his eyes.]
You're so helpful, Ray. Thanks for letting literally everyone within a half block away know that about me.
[He turns his attention back to the Squirtle. She appears to have taken a step or two closer, but is still pretty far away.]
But... yeah. I'm not gonna turn you over to the cops. Believe me, I know how that feels. Can you at least trust me that much?
[There's a long pause. Then, the Squirtle lifts up her sunglasses, perching them on her forehead.
... And turns around, pops the top off the can of spray paint, and starts writing something.]
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